One for the road

"Let's have a cigarette on our way out.", my friend said as we were leaving the Galleria last night. We met for coffee and a talk.

So we sat on the ledge at the MiniStop, were many people are sitting, talking,waiting...So we lit up our Lights and talked. As I was finishing mine, I hoisted up my bag on my shoulder as I need to go already. It's 9pm.

She said, "let's have one more". Well, southbound traffic on a Sunday night is lighter than any other day, so I sat back again and had my 2nd Lights.  I bought a small C2 for her and water for me at Ministop.

I quite forgot the time, and before I knew it it's around 10pm!! Travel time from Ortigas to Laguna is around an hour of no traffic.. So I really need to go.

But we were still talking about something and I said, "I'll have that one remaining stick for the road."

And it hit me. Isn't it so just like life?

You need to go but you dally to have "one more" and stay just a little bit longer. It could be a week, a month, a year, sometimes forever. We need to go but that's what we always do. Have one for the road... We end up late , or have more than we bargained for..

Because come to think of it, I've had four sticks and she had three....

The Art of Breaking-Up

Everyone must have trekked this dirt road at one time or another in their lives. Or maybe several times. Letting go of a relationship is one of the hardest task that we need to do, because we need to chose to do it. These are the things that I did, mostly the first three, to make that final cut. As for number 4, I wished that if I have known sooner, there will be fewer jerks on this earth...
  1. Remove your X's evidence on your walls, in your house, within 5-kilometer radius of you!!Throw away your friendship rings/bands on your wrist, even if it's been there for 10years. Remove your pictures/posters/memorabilia on your walls, even if there will be white boxes of lighter paint on it (just repaint it, then!!!) Remove from the display all (I mean, ALL) your couple pictures, that old teddy bear that he/she won at the fair with you, that coffee mug pair, his/her old jersey that you sleep on, etc... Remove him/her from your list of Friendster's Featured Friends (just so you won't see him as soon as you open your network)... Your place would seem empty at first...because,'s really empty. You'll feel that all of a sudden your place is a bit big. But no worries, you'll soon fill that space. "Yeah, right.", you'll cynically say, and maybe would just dejectedly turn your back and stare again at that picture.Uugh!!!! Hey, I say this works, from first hand experience, I say this works...
  2. Change your number. If that's impractical, just bar his number or divert his calls to another (not yours, hehehehe) So he won't be able to call you and try to take you back with more promises,promises,promises...So you won't be tempted to call him/her with such lame excuses like, "I just want to hear your voice" , "how's your family" , "I want to say hi to your dog/cat/mouse/fish,etc.." . Don't waste your time staring at your phone and willing it to ring, hoping he'd call. Yeah, I know (nod, nod, nod) that's sooooooooo hard to do. I've been in that staring-at-phone-and-calling-him-at-the-wee-hours phase for 3 months with my year2000 breakup with some jerk (maybe I'll spill the story of that jerk and me, and another jerk via rebound , in my later blogs). But see, I survived. So will you.
  3. CRY, but DON'T WALLOW.GO OUT!!! It's OK to grieve over a lost relationship, so cry if you must. But you have to accept that it's gone, caput, defunct... Do post-breakup DISTRACTIONS (note: WHOLESOME). Do something about your hair, indulge in a little shopping (but please, don't use your credit cards!!!!), or a mini-vacation that has nothing to do with him/her. That way, you'll realize that there is a world out there that is far bigger than your X's, and it could be refreshing and fun!! And lastly...
  4. DON'T GO REBOUNDING!!!Oftentimes, we jump to another relationship so soon. This mostly happens right after a bad breakup (meaning, you're the one who was dumped...) of a long and serious (as you were made to believe) relationship. And here comes another person, a friend most especially, who is sympathetic and seems to care so much, ready to ease your loneliness in whatever form possible. Emotional strings becomes tangled when we start to demand more on this "buffer" relationship". Then it turns sour again. It could be a cycle, rebound after rebound, with no time to recuperate from the first bitterness. If you feel that you are already in a rebound relationship, just go back to 1 to 3.

So now, just be happy. I dont know how you will, but I know you can. You deserve it.


"I have done it," says my memory. "I cannot have done it," says my pride, refusing to budge. In the end, my memory yields.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

There are some things you never really forget..

  • someone that you lost...
  • a shared kiss with a special friend
  • a shared silence
  •  unexpected parting
  • a question you've never answered..
  • unrequited love
  • a good cry in the rain