My box of chocolates...

Recently, my thoughts are so full of this person that I'm getting cheesy, I think.

I haven't felt like this in a long time and it scares me sometimes. This is a surefire way towards heartache! But the feeling won't go away, so I might as well get a closer look. Objectivity kills romance, you know.

I remember Forrest Gump saying, "My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

I'm beginning to think he's is my box of chocolates...

We always start our days like normal people, with normal lives separate from each other. We'd talk like normal friends would do but underneath it all a current of anticipation is running haywire, sometimes it's so physical I feel the tension in my neck. Ah! Pressure. A smile and there would be a tightening in my gut. A touch, and the warmth travels even lower.

When I turn my head for a kiss, he was always there ready to receive. Or to give. I would be lost in that briefest moment when he would look at me as our lips meet that I can't help but close my eyes and surrender. I don't know what was in that kiss that makes my blood rush into my head and makes me lightheaded. I've met a lot of people and I've been kissed by some of them but never like this. His has a gentle quality to it, a sweetness, the kind of kiss that never invades but offers me the opportunity to open up as much he does. There are moments when my heart's racing I'd close my eyes and all I feel is his skin touching mine and everything falls away, like a rollercoaster breaking away from the rail in a free fall.

But sometimes I don't know what to make of him. I could easily love him but only at my own risk, never his. He's someone I know I can't hold on to, him being a free spirit. More like sand in my hands, really. The moment that I decide to close my hand on him, I know he'd slip away.

In my mind's eye, there is a song by Darren Hayes that best describes him that says:

I don't wanna have to lie bout what's inside when there's always been a tiny part of me I'm trying to hide,I don't wanna see your expression when I let you down
And I just want you to love me Oh I just want you to love me