My life in six words.

Roller-coaster life! Goes down. Up again.

That's mine! But I don't mind.

30 days of Truth -- Day Four (4/30)

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

I guess the most painful thing a loved one can do to you is to cheat you.

Years ago, this loss of faith has really broken my heart. I thought that you get what you give. You give love, you get love. You sow loyalty, you reap loyalty. Blah-blah.

At first I tried to ignore it. i said to myself, "ah, it's just a phase...". But it went on for almost a year, and I felt it's too much. So I started to nag, to throw tantrums, to shout and cry so he would listen. But no, it got worse to the point he and I won't speak for days, he won't show up, things like that...

One day, I had a motorcycle accident. Nothing major, just a few bruises and a laceration on my leg that required 12 stitches. I was not paying much attention on the road (I was crying). After this, he tried to patch up with me. I thought it was really in his heart to work out our relationship. I forgave him and vowed never to talk about it again. We left our jobs and moved to his parents house, a fresh start he said.

For a while it was okay, like "it" never happened. Then one night, I saw him talking on the phone with "her".

And I realized, it's not over yet. This second betrayal has broken crumbled my heart pride. All I need is just a little honesty and he won't give it to me...

One morning, I woke up, packed up and said goodbye. There is so much anger in me and it's not healthy anymore. ..

For two years I tried to make a concentrated effort to move on. I prayed that the grace of forgiveness find the way to my heart . And it did. It was slow but it did.

~x~XX~x~

• What about you, what is it that you need to forgive about someone?

Tell me via the comment section the link to your post so I can check them out, too!

The list for the 30 Days of Truth Challenge is here



Next:

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Follow, Tag, Trail on Tuesday (and don't rant!)

I guess I'm not posting as much as I should recently...I promise to make up for lost time soon! It's just that there's so much going on at home -- Teddy and I -- that needs to be resolved. I don't kow what'll happen...

Erase that.

::sigh::

It's just that sometimes, reality nudges you out of  your comfort zone and you think, what did I miss? And you look this way and that...

OK.

I'll just rant on a separate post, I guess.

Now. Let's see.

 I've been missing my weekly bloghops. I hope to catch up really soon!

Great blogs and great bloggers awaits! Here they are:

 Follow Me Back Tuesday 

Follow Me Back Tuesday is hosted by  

Survey Junkie, 

Little Yaya's,  

Review Retreat 

Boobies, Babies & A Blog.

Guest Host Kyann from Sanity is Overrated

Find  Chelsea at Twee Poppets and her Tuesday Tag-Along.

  

to meet new fun friends hosted by:

Familylicious Reviews Blog
Nine More Months Blog
Sugar Pop Ribbons Blog

Six Word Saturday - Stressed

Audit season once again. Stressed,stressed!

It's been a week since the last time I opened my blog. Arrgh! I didn't even peeked since the 6th.

Our company books will be under perusal of our auditors this whole month, and so I'm staying late in the office most days.

Anyway, I hope everyone to have a great weekend nonetheless.

Friday Quotes

"He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying."

– Friedrich Nietzsche

for the not married, soon-to-be married, and the already married...

A friend shared this via Facebook. Upon reading, I was touched by it so I thought of sharing this here...

MARRIAGE....

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Six Word Saturday -- Take one step at a time.

Take one step at a time.

 ~~~

This is something that I have yet to learn. To relax. To let it be. My mantra nowadays: everything happens at its own time and pace. But sometimes, it's oh so frustrating to wait!  Some people say impatience is only for the young. Do you think so? Isn't it more exciting to just jump headlong?

Am I your Rebound Girl?

I sure hope not.Though sometimes it crosses my mind that I might be... 


See? Even now, my initial reaction is turn myself blind over the fact that you might be in rebound. But I know myself, I'm a very logical person.  I want to see things objectively, with reason, as I do not want to fall "madly", "blindly" in love with you or with anybody else. So I want to clinically pick the details of our circumstance.

So, are you?

I've been through this before, as the rebounder.I even posted about it in  The Art of Breaking Up .Rebounding is the worst one can do after a really bad break up, and I promised myself that I will not take that road again. Both can be lulled by the thrill, or rush of intense emotions, mistaking it for love or happily ever after. But it's not, really.

Let's take it slow, okay? I know you're still feeling a bit confused, and I promise I will be with you. But here are my grounds:

1. Do not take me granted. I will not allow it. Do not expect that I will take up where your ex left off.
2. Do not compare me. Whether good or bad, do not look for them in me. I'm a different person.
3. I'm always up for a good talk. Tell me what's on your mind. Compatibility is boring, a bit of disparity is always good.
4. Do not rush. Let's take our time knowing each other.

Don't be afraid. Sometimes something  good can come out of the bad. We have something good here, we just need straighten  out some emotional entanglements, clean the road we will walk on, so to speak...

Hug-o-war

"I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins."

— Shel Silverstein

Friendster Comments at Profile-Comments.com

Skywatching as I wait

As I wait for my shuttle to work this morning, I looked up and saw these electrical/phone lines hampering my view.

Cloudy skies today.  That's downtown Calamba City, here in Laguna. Election campaign is in full blast beginning Feb 10 until May 8. All possible corners, trees, posts, nooks and crannies are full of candidates' billboards.

Happy weekend, everyone!

For more skies, find it here!

http://skyley.blogspot.com/

http://www.crazyworkingmom.com/

A Child's Innocence...

My godson Andrei.

The Child Angel


Let your life come amongst them like a flame of light, my child,
unflickering and pure, and delight them into silence.

They are cruel in their greed and their envy,
their words are like hidden knives thirsting for blood.

Go and stand amidst their scowling hearts, my child,
and let your gentle eyes fall upon them like the
forgiving peace of the evening over the strife of the day.

Let them see your face, my child, and thus know the
meaning of all things, let them love you and love each other.

Come and take your seat in the bosom of the limitless, my child.
At sunrise open and raise your heart like a blossoming flower,
and at sunset bend your head and in silence
complete the worship of the day.

- Rabindranath Tagore

Silly Haiku ~ Road

Lonely road behind, but the

doors are closed, lights out

...still a long way to go.

SOOC ~ Leech Limerick

Just something that I found on the ground! A leech!

Poor Leech

(Limerick by Sidewalker) 

To what do we owe the poor leech;
a miracle cleanser par bleach?
While a mucousy mess
It taught us to confess
The truth is so rare in the preach

Ruby and Word(less) Tuesday~Christmas is coming!

I woke up cold and I realized, it's December! 25 days to go before Christmas and so this is really a great Ruby Tuesday!

I haven't been really posting as much as I should because I've been busy (as in deadbeat) at work with month-end closing of accounting books and pulling in of receivables and all...

The breeze this morning's a bit crispier than yesterday, I thought, as I rushed out of the house (late, as usual).

JV and I's been talking a lot lately, via SMS, as he's been in Aparri,Cagayan on a field audit since last month. Maybe it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, as it is with us. I know that if we will be together (as in "together"), then we need to work out a long distance relationship every now and then.

The new year would be exciting, with a lot of changes coming. I can feel it already. But I want to be mum about it a bit longer, as we need to finalize a lot of things before the year ends.

Anyway, happy RT!

Six Word Saturday~Life with you

Life. With you...and the girls.

Quote of the Day~Life

"Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: 'I'm with you kid. Let's go.'"

– Maya Angelou

About Maya Angelou

American poet and author Maya Angelou is best known for her autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She was born in St. Louis in 1928 and grew up in rural Arkansas. Due to her activism, Martin Luther King asked her to take a leadership position in his organization. In 1993, at President Clinton's request, she wrote and performed a poem at his inauguration. She has also directed films and appeared on television. She teaches at Wake Forest University.

Are we ever ready?

When I was younger, I’ve always thought that I am invincible, that no one and nothing can ever hurt me and if ever I am so foolish enough to put myself in a painful situation, I could always take it in stride, shrug my shoulders and let go. I never really stopped to ask my self if I was ready for these things. I wanted to be part of so much life that I would go crashing through it, unaware that the heart could harden with time and the soul has the ability to retreat behind a wall.

Now I can’t remember when, or even why, did I ever stop running through life and started to count my steps and calculate my risks.

But when do you get ready, really?

Is it when you decide to run towards the cliff, or is it the moment you lift your feet off to fly?

Is it when you wake up from sleep or is it the moment you open your eyes?

Is it when you felt the warmth or is it when you can’t bear the heat when scorched?

Is it in goodbyes, or is it in the void after parting?

Is it in the words or in the expression of it?

Are we ever ready, really?

Six Word Saturday ~ Safe

The tried and true are good.

~~~~~~
...though sometimes we wonder what's out there....

Pooh and Me, unspoken...

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

That's you and I, JV...both unsure of our footing, but always finds comfort in our togetherness. We are both afraid, I know. Don't we deserve something more?

~~~x~~~

Life according to Snoopy

sometimes we don't know there's a good thing if we hide and pretend we are not there...