A letter to my almost lover:

A letter to my almost lover: Is this goodbye, then? How I wish you could stay a bit longer, at least long enough to prepare myself for this imminent parting that you’re now thrusting at me... Why did you let me love you when you know you have to go?

I will miss you, much more than I’m willing to admit. I will miss the good times that we had, the laughter, the silliness, I will miss the very nearness of you! You will always be my dearest friend, my almost lover. I hope that you will miss me, too.

When I let you wipe away my tears, do you hear the unspoken profession of my love for you? Everytime I turn away when you catch me looking at you, do you see the yearning that I am trying to hide? When we make love, do you feel my total surrender as I bare my soul to you?

I guess not.

Because I know that this is just a game to you. But just the same, I will treasure the part of you that was in me. When I’m with you, it’s like looking into me. You mirror what I am inside. Thank you for giving me that chance. We are kindred souls!

More than a lover, you are my friend... You brought out my fears so I can face them. I cried on your shoulder, remember? You made me believe that I could love again and it’s alright. For a while, I was truly happy, knowing there’s someone for me.

I could have told you how much I love you. I could have kissed you as often and embraced you as tightly as I could. But I was afraid. Ah, my only regret is that I should have given more, but I didn’t. The fear of loving has fortified the walls around my very heart and pain has broken me so many times before!
I wanted to love you the way you’ve never been loved before. I wanted to be always at your side, to be your strength, to be your equal partner! I wanted to be a part of your life, share your endeavors and dreams.
But as suddenly as you came, you’re gone. You are a free spirit, someone who can never be tied down. Your gaze is always at the horizon, never at the sands beneath your feet. That’s why I have to let you go, much to my pain.
We are the same, you and I, that’s why I understand. Our parting makes the memories all the more poignant and sweet. I hope one day, I’ll see you again. When that day comes, please don’t let me go, too. I love you, always remember that.


You know the way home to me.
Love, R