Complicated Hearts

This is what we write in our social networks to describe our relationships that are...errr.."complicated".
I always go for men who are exciting, with lots of conversation opportunities, who are savvy, "astig" , a "muy simpatico". But these men make love affairs complicated, at least for me, from my own experiences.
I'm just speaking about one guy, JV, actually. We are more than , okay more than, casually dating since the start of this year and I'm starting to feel that this "more than casual" thing is getting deeper. At least for me. I don't know about him. I 'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid if he does not feel the same way but I'm scared to death if he does. So I don't ask.
...and complicated. Maybe it's just me.
It's just that it feels good to find him beside me in the dark, though he keeps almost all of the pillows to himself and invades half of my bed. The first night I haven't slept a wink, I never felt so warm and wanted. He whispered things to my ear, and felt his warm breath on my neck as he pulled me to him as he slept. I whispered I love you, but I don't think he heard.
But he has to go home to somebody else.
Yes, it's complicated.
And so I will not force him to stay.
But I will not push him away, either.

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