Moving (out)

My flatmate A and I had a sort of "fall out" so decided to move out of the 2-bedroom apartment we've been sharing for a year.

The problem?

Her boyfriend. The "very much married to someone else" boyfriend, who is so controlling of her, that she has to chose who comes over to the house and watch what she does with her time,etc..! She, a 27-year old with complete faculties, has to keep her eye on her bf's financial carrot-and-sticks. And sometimes I hate her for it. There must be other options, I'm sure. I don't want to impose on her my views on the matter because I have my own imperfections, too (who doesn't?), but I feel that I can't just watch and be silent any longer. I've asked her a hundred times why is she staying in a relationship like that. A relationship based on control and mistrust but she just answered that one gets used to it with time.

One might think, "So what if he was a Mr. Right that became Mr. Always Right? He's not your issue!".

But he is. He is. Because he is putting constraints on me, too. He gets angry if MY bf visits, or if I stay out late, or if I'm at the house and he wants to get lovey-dovey with her. Hello! This is an apartment, get into a motel! He doesn't confront me, but pressures Ann by being verbally vicious to her.

So I moved out before a friendship is lost.

7 pinky-swear friends shared a thought or two...:


Not a pleasant situation, I'm pleased you had the sense to move out rather than lose your friendship as good friends are like gold dust even if you disagree from time to time.
Good luck.

Momma Fargo said...

Smart move. I agree with Yvonne.

Jazzbumpa said...

Moving out is a good choice, for a lot of reasons.

But - is this friendship worth keeping? She is on a self-destructive path. Who knows what the collateral damage might be?

Good luck!

Kwizgiver said...

Sounds like an awkward situation all around. Glad you're able to save the friendship.


Imperfect Stepford Wife said...

That sucks, but you are doing the right thing and not a minute to late (or too soon) either.

On another note, I would love if you would share a post on my blog project. Can you contact me at


croleyc69 said...

Saying a prayer for you and you are doing the right thing. Take care

Governor Jen said...

Ugh. Good for you for getting out of a no-win situation.